Did you honestly think you were getting a meal? Cute. Instead, you get to watch me ruin this green tomato with my filthy black flats, mud and all, while you salivate over every squish. I’ll smash it under my powerful feet, add a little of my drink, and let the mess ooze where you’re supposed to clean. Watch the tomato explode beneath my sole, feel your eyes glued to the wrecked shoe and to me. Your job is to watch, crave, and accept that my filthy shoes and ruined food are more intoxicating to you than any dinner.