Tired of disappointing women? Good, because this year you’re going to make me laugh at you. I’ll hand you a humiliating little task, and you will perform it while I watch, tease, and savor every pathetic sound you make. You are not a real man here, you are my toy, and I will make sure you remember it.
Trust me, the joy I get from your embarrassment will be worth your shame. Follow my instructions, embarrass yourself beautifully, and earn the right to please me again.